2012...The year I will always remember

As I was discussing a few blogs ago this year may have been the best year of my life.  Aside from the secondary school years and the sometimes happy sixth form years, the multiple hare brained adventures of university and my brief spell in Scarborough in 2009 where I met my first ever love; this year has been the one.

While I was meant to be working...

 I was taken for a day out to the Metro Centre... and other Christmas Week pictures :)

Rocking the 3D Glasses look. So in right now *cool beans*

Just popped to Toys R Us to give teddy a hug :)

He's look far cuter than I ever could with a massive teddy bear!

Amazing discount in the Christmas sales..

This is my delish brownie for the bf being cooked :)

This is it's supreme amazingness!

Giant hand? Small bottle?

Amazing Christmas presents <3 Alongside a designer purse, Where's Wally pjs and a wine set (as well as a complete surprise treat. YUSH!)

Me trying to get into the Christmas spirit :)

Where there is desire...

Beautiful lyrics

Beautiful song

Let's celebrate Christmas with murder!

The way life is around here you'd really hope that by Christmas people may give each other a break.  They might drop the arguments and the feuds.  But god no.  You can't open Facebook without getting an eyeful of so and so's falling out, and blahdy blahs black eyes.  But perhaps the saddest thing about Christmas is the inevitable family dispute that leads to one murdered and one injured.  That's the news from the village over from this town.  Yet again, yet another Christmas and it dawns with someone dead.

It's Christmas Eve Eve :)

So I wimped out on telling my parents about my boyfriend.  So what?  I've got a whole week to tell them before I spend midnight with him on New Years (very different being with someone local!).  But the relationship is going very much 'FML' atm!

If I could write an autobiography someday I'm sure a lot of people will get a lot of laughs, and probably exchange sympathetic comments with me.  But I'm sure we've all been in this position and you just have to look back and laugh.

Back in the same place again...

So Friday (supposedly end of the world but we'll skate over that) I'm spending all afternoon (and early evening) Christmas shopping with the boyfriend, followed by a double date with his mates (eek) and stopping the night.
Trying to explain this to the mother-tron and come up with an excuse for my absence all day might possibly be neigh on impossible.  Especially as I seem to be disappearing a lot lately to random people's houses.  How can she not notice the pattern from the last boyfriend?!

So how do I tell her about him?
When do I tell her about him?
Should I just jump in there and say it?
Should I casually mention him?
Just why me :(
Didn't think I'd be in this position so soon after the last one :/

GAH!

The Beauty of Art; The Beauty of Sport

Happiness in Darkness

It's a shame that I write in this so infrequently these days even if it is but a random dip into my life as it is right now.

So what's happening.

I'm still with my boyfriend.  My ex now has a girlfriend and I'm happy for him.  He's probably a lot happier with her and she probably makes him smile a lot more than I could ever do so.
I'm still happy.  I'm the happiest I've ever been for a long while.
I hate my course.  Can't stand it.  It's far too much paperwork and I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that all teacher's are vindictive.  I'd swap the teaching environment for a shelf stacking one no problemo.  But I'm not a quitter, never have been.  It shows weakness to let something get the better of you.  So up on the tidal wave of pain I'm going to rise and I'm going to knock it flat.  I'm going to be the best goddamn teacher you could ever imagine.  And when the time comes I will look at this course and obliterate it from my memory.  I will do something that makes me happy for once.

Yes, this is a major problem for me right now.  I'm happy but I'm in a dictatorship.  My parents are still omnipresent in my life.  And as the times I stay out are getting longer and later their patience is wearing thin.  I'm being bitched about behind my back, I'm getting the looks of disappointment and I'm getting the feeling that they want me long gone.  And I want to be.  Let me out of here.  Let me into a household that welcomes me and I'm not ostracized   That I'm not expected to go out with a certain type of man (cos lets face it my current one isn't want they want but I'm not happy with what they want, I've tried it) or expected to kill myself by trying to do a 101 things just to make them happy. No.  I'm sick of it.  I'm sick of it something terribly.  I just need to get out, don't care who with.  But when I leave this house, even temporarily it's like walking out of the steel bars and into a haven.  It's a release.

However, I can't complain too much.  This year may have been the best year of my life.  So many changes, so many experiences, so many significant happenings.  I've passed my driving test, I've lost people to death, I've lost friends and people I've spent a lot of time with, I've gone into things that are way above me, but I'm sat here smiling.  I'm sat here smiling cos life couldn't have taught me a greater a lesson day by day if I hadn't gone through it all.  I was ditched on a train platform, I was picked up in a pub.  I left depression and entered exhilaration.  I've had the love of my friend throughout it all, even if I don't get it at home.  I've gone through stress in my course and complications and come through it all fighting.  And I'm still having a bloody good time with it.

In a bitter sweet way, I've never been happier.  Life can throw it's worst at me, I'll keep batting it away.

"If you let the midgets stand on the banks of giants, you'll never see the mountain for the molehill"

-me-

The Pendulum

As my last blog briefly and succinctly put it.  I am in a new relationship.

This girl moves fast apparently.

Having just started a new blog to comment on the woes of being single and the dating game, I had no idea that I'd fall so quickly into a new relationship.  But what a whirlwind!  Having met the guy in early August and my life completely changing from that very peninsula moment I didn't really expect to be sat here in a relationship with him.

So who is he?
I had known of him for many years, seen him about this old and boring town enough times to know that he likes his cars and he likes his work.  I didn't even think that when I used to see him bumble in and out of the two pubs he worked in from his car to the bar quite literally that I'd ever really speak to him nevermind what has happened.  He is definitely my type.  It appears I have a penchant for barmen, and particularly bar men in a managerial position.  So when I started going to his quiz and he randomly said 'don't do that, it's distracting' about me bouncing on my chair, something clicked.  And out opened a wave of new life for me.  Something woke up and stirred in my tummy.  Something I hadn't felt in a long long time.  Soon I was propping up the bar, leaning across it, leaving elbow marks in the marble surface so to speak, and burning a hole in my pocket as the pub became my new home.  Only when I'm interested in men and chasing them do I spend so much time in a pub and drinking, my liver must pray for the time I'm so lonely.

So it wasn't until the Olympic Closing Ceremony that in actual facts things really got started with me and him.  Soon chatting wasn't good enough anymore, I wanted him.  And I wanted him for about a month or so afterwards to the point that he stopped going on date after date with other women, that he stopped going out on nights out, and suddenly he was there.  And I was there for when he lost his job when the pub went into insolvency.  And dates where he spent his time on his phone extended to dates where he paid attention to me.  Without realising it I was on one of these such dates when he suddenly confirmed it, we'd passed from seeing each other to being with each other.  My efforts of the last month and a bit had won.  I had won him over.

Almost a month into things I'm just as happy as I was the day I met him and even happier now that he's stopped his flirting and stopped his gallavanting with other females.

I am actually content for once :) The pendulum has swung.

Newly in a relationship...

November 12th.

Wow.

"I spend most of my time wishing it to pass over quickly that I'm wishing away life.  But I'm wishing it away for the time I most care about."

- me

Newly Single

Since I've been single for just under two months now I thought I need a bit of happiness in my life (since that's the reason the relationship ended in the first place this is perhaps a great place to start).  So I thought I'd write about the stupidity of being single on this blog for my own amusement in the hope that other people will also read this and empathise with me.  I mean I can't be the only person out there who is ready to pull their hair out at the same sex, opposite sex, love, sex and all the uselessness that surrounds it all.

All names will for obvious reasons be removed from this.

So how did it end?

The last relationship died because of me.  The apoplectic mess that was the latter half of my summer caused me to be permanently in a state of depression, resentment, and unfeeling.  I was shriveled up inside, begging for laughter, begging for the good times.  Instead I ensnared in a bottomless pit of anxiety and darkness.  And so I made the dreadful decision to ask for a break from the relationship.  Yes, like the song 'We are never getting back together' I asked for space after we'd already spent weeks apart.  I may sound ungrateful, I may sound like the biggest bitch in the whole wide universe.  But I needed to cut ties with people for a while.  I needed to find my giggly self who never saw sense in the world.  Who never took anything seriously and who never raised her voice to anyone.

And because of the monster I'd become, I was dumped on the platform in Essex watching him walk away and never looking back and leaving me to find my way back to London King's Cross with tears brimming in my eyes and totally unable to handle my bags all of a sudden.  I got my suitcase trapped in the bloody ticket barrier - it screamed at me constantly.  A man had to come help by placing his muddy dusty foot on my black new suitcase to kick it out of the system.  I stood on the platform of the tube and watched them drive by one after the other wondering which one would take me to the station.  In the end I hopped on board and hoped for the best.

That was to be the beginning of my single life.

Stuck

I'm stuck in the middle of no-man's land.
Stuck in the middle of some proverbial crossroads.
Stuck in the middle of two warring countries.
Stuck between happiness and not knowing.

Life is progressively getting more like a soap opera than I could ever imagine it would be.
My hearts flying above a road and it's lingering.  It's swaying towards the unknown and yet the happiness, the contentment but the non-trusting.  It's an area of grey that swings like a pendulum.
Then it's swaying to what I know, to the end where the light is always shining at the end of the tunnel.  It's a journey that's forever in the making but forever set in the concrete.  It doesn't matter what time I take that turn, that turn will always be there.
Then it's swaying to the past.  The past that I came from, and the past that I didn't think would end in the present.

It doesn't know what it wants.  The mind is raging some war.  The emotions are braving some frantic sea.  I'm like a jelly figurine grasping on to hope in the darkness.

Someone throw me a rope.

Agony of it.

Seeing John Bishop

This year has been the year of the live viewing.  Having gone to see Derren Brown in May, the Queen and Phillip in Durham, I would never have put money on seeing a third - John Bishop.

Yes my stand up cherry has now been popped!

Was a fantastic night and I genuinely didn't want the show to end.  I envy him being able to stand up in front of everyone like that and delivering a perfect performance.

For at least 3 or 4 hours I didn't think about work once... :) But sadly - back to it :(

"I was certain that everything I had imagined to be truth was false. False. Only the magic and the dream are true-all the rest's a lie."

Rochester-Wide Sargasso Sea

There are three wishes I want right now.

In a state of all doom and gloom there are three wishes I wish I had granted right now.

1) To spend a day in the life of my past self.  To remember what I wanted.
2) To spend a day in the life of myself in a place I don't want to be and know what will make me sad.
3) To spend a day in the life of myself in a place I want to be, and know what will make me happy.

Any genie's out there wanting to fulfill my wish, please do so.

No energy

I have no energy to write a full blog post.  But instead I'm going to write a snippet of this week in words and phrases.

Monday: Shattered, sleep walking, sleep learning, running, working, exhausted working, happiness, sadness, frustration, close to tears
Tuesday: Shattered, sleep walking, sleep learning, running, working, exhausted working, McD's, happiness, tiredness
Wednesday: Energy from nowhere, learning, studying, chatting, throwing logs onto an ancient fire, frustration, loneliness, so many people so little real people, working, friends, cuddles, happiness.
Thursday: Shattered, dropping, exhilaration, energy, walking, happiness, sadness, deepening sadness, mentalness, let down.
Friday: Apologetic, dead, dead walking, dead talking, dead sleeping, no energy, sleepiness, beating oneself up, loneliness, abandonment, laughing but feeling emptiness, just wish I could squeeze life into my heart
Today: Ill, emotionally disconnected.

I need to realise what I need.  I need sleep.

This week has been a write off. Wish it had never happened.

Innocent

At 8 you see the world how you want to see it; imagine it how you want it to be.
At 16 you see the world ahead of you and long for how perfect it's going to be
At 18 you realise the world isn't what it seems and is full of heart ache and people disappearing from your life.
At 22 you realise that there is no such thing as pure happiness.  Things just aren't that simple.  You won't wake up and smile like you used to and you won't go to bed smiling either.

Life sucks.

To my first, to my last, and to all those in between...

So Day One

And it bloody nearly killed me.

For the second time in my life, I will wait.

The mundane life of one post-Summer

So what does one do after a rollercoaster of a summer?

You go back to work.

You start your course.

And you live in hibernation for another year.

Apparently.

Summing up my mood right now.

It's best left unsaid with the following songs.
Especially the lyrics of the second one.

Sunday 2nd September to Wednesday 5th September

Sunday was written off with my calves in agony and inability to walk, but Monday it was off to the Olympic Park. And boy it was busier than London was! We were quite disappointed due to the fact that we couldn't buy tickets into the Park on the door, we had to do it online. Big disappointment.  But it was good to mill around and capture pictures of the Park here and there as we tried to find the best vantage points.  And the massive shopping mall was greater than I'd ever been in before.

London. Saturday 2st September.

Off to London on a dry and overcast day though it was hot!
With our ingenious research we managed to discover the London pass. A day pass for £46 which got you into all the major attractions. Aside from the usual ones such as Madame Tussards, London Dungeon or the London Eye, we at least got to see all the real expensive attractions.  Thus heading to pick up our ticket we discovered the underground kind of almost Harry Potter building hidden opposite a theatre. Taking the spiral staircase you could hear the ominous sound of the tube in the bowels of the city. But soon we were armed with our handy souvenir pocket guides and heading to our first destination. Westminster Abbey.
I was struck at how busy the Abbey was both inside and out. There seemed to be people milling around everywhere clutching their audio guides like rather large old fashioned mobile phones. There was silence with the exception of the dull mutter of takings from the contraptions. A wonderful invention describing what you're looking at without much of a to do.

Norsey Woods. Friday 30th August

And so the last few hours of August had dawned alongside a bit of a hangover. Despite the nights getting darker we were quite blessed by some good weather. so after some much.needed R & R we took the dog out again to stretch her little legs.

Billericay. Thursday 29th August

Not really much to say about today. Chilled out. Watched TV. Walked the very excitable dog around the local Meadows. Went bowling before dinner with my boyfriend's family.
One thing I can say is that I won at the bowling even sacrificing my own thumb to do so. Probably not the best idea in retrospect...still feels very sore even now!

Wednesday 29th. Basildon.

Waking up unbelievably shattered from a night of constant interruptions I can't honestly say I was in the best of moods.  In fact my mood pretty much sucked big time. But it was quite nice waking up to a dog to snuggle up to (and I don't mean my boyfriend).
Took the lovely ickle dog for a walk in a nearby field only to realise she just didn't seem to like being dominated by me. It appears even dogs can give me the run around...

London to Esssx. Tuesday 28th August 2012

Yesterday, after quite a long 3hours after my lovely Julian Clary fellow passenger ran off to a better seat facing the right way of travel, I had the luxury of spending half an hour by myself delving into The Psychopath Test with Lana Del Rey blasting in my earholes.  Unfortunately my rather odd taste in book and depressing music didn't deter people from sitting with me as it usually does on my local bus.  And soon I was joined by a business woman complete with laptop (which only seemed capable of displaying complex spreadsheets) whilst eating sushi...

Trying out the mobile version

So I'm currently sat on a train to London and thought perhaps I could blog on the move.  So here goes and expect plenty of spelling mistakes...
Sitting on the platform I was encompassed by first nausea (drank the night before) and then fear and anxiety.  I was about to embark on the first long distance train I've been on (though the last time felt by myself anyway with the boyfriend sleeping through it...). Immediately I worried about whether I was getting the right train or not. Whether my suitcase was gonna be able to accompany me and whether I can find my seat available. 
As luck would have it though I stumbled across a middle aged man with the voice of Julian Clary and we hit it off. He even offered to buy me a drink! So I'm now on the train and comfortable. Though I tried to fit my 60cm suitcase into my seat area (and failed) and had to resort to wheeling it back through the impatient passengers and dump it perilously on a pile of other suitcases on one of the seats...I'm now living in hope that they're not going to carelessly toss it off the train for being an obstruction...

Having trouble coming to terms with life...

...everyone should have a hero.  And they do.  Most people's heros are those who have done life changing things, won nobel prizes, got over a life struggle by climbing a mountain, raised lots for charity, managed to find the cure for cancer, walked on the moon and the like.  They've made something of their lives.

However, for me, I struggle finding a hero like that.  I can't think of anyone I can wax lyrical that I admire in that way.  For instance, my hero isn't someone like Florence Nightingale, it's the bloke in the street.  It's the bloke in the street that has been raised in hell, has had a horrific accident, but yet still walks down the street smiling and calling out hi.  It's the man who doesn't become tied down to one thing, he listens to what he wants and he does it.  Whether it be changing job, moving house, going on a spontaneous trip down the country, throwing all their money to the lottery even.

Today I,

...realised where exactly my inappropriate gene came from.

Father: *rifles through suitcase and laughs* It's big enough to fit a dead body in!
Mother: *face falls, expression sours* Not now... *walks away*

At least there can be laughter in sad times.

'To Gran, I know you'll be dancing in the stars with Grandad'

101st post. Missed that Celebration...!

Due to my misery of the last couple of weeks I'd absent mindedly surpassed the fact that I'd posted my 100th post and not really noticed it!

But I thought the 100th post should not go unmissed, and instead should be used to explore how time has passed over the last year since I started using blogger with immense gusto having brushed off the dust from my sixth form years.

It was the best of times; It was the worst of times.

This Summer could only be described as a roller coaster.

I laughed a lot.
I lost a lot.
I thought a lot.
I had emotional upheaval.
I thought of who I was and I hated who I was.
And I became more risky.
I thought of who I was and I loved who I was.
And I just got riskier.
I loved life.
And I hated life.

And all this in just a week.

A chance to attend an Olympic Game

The reason why I've been so quiet on here of late, is largely due to my complete infatuation with the Olympics.  In fact right now I'm writing this whilst taking quick glances over the top of the screen at the women's 1500m.  Exciting stuff.

I have been completely bowled over by the sheer talent on exhibition on these games.  Each and every attempt and effort these competitors are making is enough to 'Inspire the future generations' as they are so fittingly advertising.  So imagine my excitement when I managed to get to go to one of the games.  The men's football, Brazil v New Zealand, very close to my home town.

When 1st August 2012 dawned I was ready and raring to go to the game.  But was quite amazed when I turned up with my friend and found that there were about 100 security guards to 2.  I know this because there were only two of us there.  Okay we turned up uber early.  And we did want to avoid the queues.  But we didn't expect to be the first people there and into the stadium!

Out with the Old in with the New

Just thought a new update to my profile was needed.

Out with the old childish look, and in with the more mature and grown up look :)

The Curse of the Memory

Waking up today I felt a renewed passion to sort my life out.  Starting with stuff that I still possess from university.

So straight away I extracted my old 'school' bag.  Having grown mouldy in my college room, I'd brought it home and dumped it, abandoning it, not wanting to go through the memories with the whole thing so fresh.  But now I saw fit to literally blow and hoover off the cobwebs, scrape off the surface mould, and delve into it's contents, making it respectable enough to throw into the trash.

The Olympic Dream

All athletes have an innate drive to win.  To be the best.  To be stood on that podium with a medal around their necks.  To make their country proud.

The entire nation also has this innate drive to be the best.  They support those who win and they boo those who lose.  They put all their eggs in someone else's basket.  We feel their thrill but sometime we feel our own frustrations when they don't win.  We feel that they somehow failed us.

Well I have news for you.  Eliminate that attitude right now.

The Endless Frustration

I am sure I've used this metaphor before with you but bear with me.

Imagine you're swimming in the sea.  And you realise that the ball you were playing with floats a little too far for your liking.  You swim towards it, but it floats out that little bit further.  You're getting frustrated now, because you can see it, it's right in front of you but it's teasing you.  You stretch out your fingers and just brush it but it lifts on a wave and moves further away from you.  You keep going, but you're feeling your feet lift up from the sea bed, and having to paddle.  But your movements are carrying the ball further and further away.  So you stop, you tread the water, and you watch the ball linger, stagnant on the sea, bobbing up and down in the water and you know if you jump forward like a cat pouncing on a mouse, it's just going to escape out of your hands.  

"We all have to make our decisions...that's the easy bit.  The hard part is we have to live with them"

A Dark Redemption

Stav Sherez 

What a week - a right Royal visit and an AirShow extravaganza

So when I posted about how grateful I am for the life I've fallen into, little did I know that I would spend two days this week in absolute glee.

Firstly, Wednesday 18th July 2012 marked the day that the Queen visited the region as part of her Jubilee tour.  And in all my excitement I managed to persuade the family to take me through to Durham to wait out, dressed in all my UK gear ready to show my appreciation to her majesty.  So in the actual warm weather, we stood out with our freebie flags and our cameras at the ready, preparing for the sight of the Bently.  And come it did, with Prince Phillip and the Queen residing in the back and a long convoy of security vans to boot.  I managed to get two videos of the event.  The first being completely shakey due to my absolute break down on seeing her.  I couldn't stop shaking or nervous giggling!  Right there was the most powerful woman in the world, and I was totally weakened by it.  The second video was by far the best, but alas I chose not to look through the lens at her but directly at her and wave, and thus, just as I should have got the Queen and Phillip in full view I moved with the car and not the face.  It was one of the best moments of my life, and I will probably never get a chance like that to come close to royalty.  

Once in a life time.

It's very easy in life to get bogged down by the stresses, pains and labours of life.  All this week I've been exasperated by one thing after another.  First it was coming down with the flu.  Secondly, it was frustration that two weeks of experience was simply not enough to get a feel for everything in the school and certainly not enough to finish my 50page work booklet.  Then it was the stressful realisation that finally I have a whole blissful week of not having to do anything only to find out I've been asked to sign my summer away at another job.  Then it was the feeling that all the preparation work I wanted to do by September won't be getting done.  Followed by the crippling realisation that I can't actually relax and do nothing.  Instead I get up, grab a textbook and get reading, or I drag myself into my work clothes and go to work, or I go out and socialise with whatever last fibre of my being that can stand up. 

It's a scary thing...

becoming a primary teacher.  You have to get into the heads of children.  You have to read their books, watch their TV and play their games.  You have to be able to understand what they think, how they see the world and what they understand from every little sentence you say.  You have to be careful that they don't fall for misconceptions or get confused at simple instructions.  You have to watch the language you use and the way you say things.  You have to think simply and stop being convoluted.  You have to remember that they have physical limitations and mental limitations.  You have to remember that they see the world in vivid colour and imagination.  You have to remember that they don't have the experience that you have and they don't know the people you know or the things that you know.  You have to remember that what you've seen daily and now goes unnoticed, captures their attention and they become excited about it- it's a whole new exciting thing for them.  You have to remember that they all live carefree lives but you also have to keep an eye on making sure it stays that way.  You have to keep them safe and make sure they get to their parents on a night without having accidents.  And you have to make sure they're happy and enjoying life.

With so much to think about and remember and to put into action, you even have to be careful you don't become a child again...

Work-a-holic

It's not new to me that I seem to have an addictive personality.  I can do the same thing over and over again from drink to eating the same thing to watching programmes non-stop.  I seem to lack the thing that most people have called Reason.  In the past, I've bordered on obsessive in nearly every aspect of my life.  And right now I think I've put on my finger on the main culprit - Work.

I've recently had this epiphany that I have to be working.  Whether it be paid work, voluntary work, course work, writing on this, working for fan sites, organising things, setting myself unobtainable objects...everything.  I just can't stop working.  And when I asked the teachers in three different staffrooms whether they thought teaching took over their life, that they'd wake up thinking about teaching, that they sat on the toilet and thought about it, that it never escaped their minds and they all said - yes.  Most people would be quite thrown by this, but I found myself suddenly really excited about it.  This is most definitely the job for me!

And so thanks to all this working I have had very little time to write on this, or to think (yey!).  But I would, if I could work it, post the pictures up here that I've taken recently.  Unfortunately for now, I best leave things!

Unconventional News - 02.07.2012

Rain makes music.  A step forward in synthetic products.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-18624538

The Shard almost claims it's first victim...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-18681294

No end to education reformation.  I hope it settles down for me!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-18676638

You don't expect the BBC to come up with a headline like this:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18675970

And finally...

Some incredible stuff on the Odd Box this week:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/18637021

Wandering down memory lane..

As I've mentioned, last week I had the opportunity to spend two days in my old secondary school.  A place where memories live of the times I was carefree, a massive swat, and perhaps the best days of my life.

Immediately walking down the corridors I could see the old gang sat in the library over lunchtimes, standing under the alcove at break times, the times we queued for lunch and the classrooms we spent countless hours in.  What's more of a shock was the old teachers.  Each looking like 6 years had never passed aside from their hair tinted with grey and their faces ever more lined.

But the old mixes with the new and as I walked around the old corridors, there'd been significant changes.  The school almost reflected the years I'd spent when I was away from there.  It's matured, changed, it's developed and it's got more serious.  Gone are the days of the sport of taunting teachers until they broke down, gone are the days of tantrums and throwing chairs, swapping naked pictures over bluetooth and hiding from the teachers behind rows of heads.  Hello was the fresh clean yellow look of the new logo, not a phone in sight, group tables and after school detentions handed out without a second thought.

Apologies

Apologies for the lack of posting on here but I've been rather busy.

Not only have I spent an entire week researching mobile phones; arguing with sales men; visiting shopping malls; making the most of the students being around; working; completing my KS3 work placement; working a bit more; taking on extra hours; getting more jobs; doing reading for my course.... and the list goes on.

But the end product is that I've now completed two days of my KS3 placement at my old secondary school (ah, memories!) and have a super duper new phone which only bad point is that it needs charging every night!

When I have more time perhaps I'll delve into these missing 12 days, however for now... *snoozes*

Though in the meantime I hope the weather cheers itself up...

Olympic Torch Relay 2012

The has come that the Olympic Torch, currently on the way around the UK bringing the flame within 1 hour of 90% of the population, arrived in the North-East.

So at about 4 o clock, regardless of the torrential downpour that seemed to drift over and over again over the region, we set out to Tow Law to see it arrive.  We got there an hour early and got ourselves a spot beside some policemen who we overheard tell a photographer was the best place for everything to happen.  Awesome.

Unconventional News - 16/06/2012

It's a while since I've done this so thought I'd peruse the news again for some gems.

This is a fantastically useless way of using statistics, probability and mathematics to come up with a statistic that explains just why this world is as small as it seems at times:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18459069

Big Brother much? Ban on the youth out at night (to be fair if it's a school night they should be in bed! - that's the teacher in me talking)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-18469957

Another week, another dangerous tale of child in an international country.  They seem to have a suicide pact!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10166217

Geeks at play.  Can strategy games predict the future?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9728000/9728077.stm

Another gaming bit of news but something that sooo needs to happen! Cheaters v Cheaters!
http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20120615/13250219347/interesting-strategy-rockstar-games-to-dump-cheaters-into-game-where-they-only-play-other-cheaters.shtml

Only in Britain would the shopkeepers be classed as 'rude but helpful' and unfortunately only here would another quaint independent shop be turned into yet another Wetherspoons pub!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-18456942

Currently loving the 'Week in pictures' section of BBC News too:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-18393451

Friends - The One Where They're Going to PARTY! Best Bits.

I'm 22, and I'm old.

All I hear day in and day out is 'you're only 22'.  This kinda irritates me.  Yes, I'm 22.  And by that logic I'm still young.  Certainly, if anyone's reading this who's older than 22 I'm sure you're sat there going 'What is she talking about, she is young'.  But let me tell you something, I'm old, and I'm feeling it.

Here's just a few instances why I know 22 isn't as young as everyone thinks it should be:-

Dear Diary: Living in the 60s...

What felt like eons ago I decided to put down 'attending' for a friend of a friend (x3) 21st birthday party themed in the 60s.  Without any costume in mind the following was the result...

Diamond Jubilee Weekend 2nd-5th June 2012

For all those people who were in a coma/on a different planet, this weekend was Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee celebrated with four days off work and non-stop celebrations.

Despite the weather being extremely poor and the Duke of Edinburgh having to be taken to hospital for half of it, the weekend was a blast!  Sunday's Pageant down the Thames with the launch of a literal thousand ships was a sight to behold especially at one point the DoE and the Queen were seen swaying and tapping their feet in appreciation to some music.

Dear Diary, 28th May - 3rd June 2012

I have been busy busy busy lately, so much so that I've let my personal commitments take a downfall and my mental capabilities to go haywire.  Today is the first day that I could actually have a lie in pulled short because at 10am on Sunday's is my prime TV time of the week *sigh*.

So what have I been up to?

Eurovision 2012

I had a good feeling about this Eurovision.  This year seems to be the year of Britons.  After a decade of political turmoil and financial crisis that has done nothing but slate the United Kingdom, we've finally made some kind of leeway.  Yes, we can pull down the covers, and put a foot out of our beds, because for once things seem to be going our way.

The Start of Summer

Chilling by the riverbanks in the sunshiiiinneee

In the high temperatures, I worked all morning yesterday.  The library reached a high point of 25d.c. which meant for me a general frying feeling.  However, by 2pm I finally had people to enjoy the summer with, thanks to friends actually being relieved of exams for another year.  The day was a cracker.

Drinks by the river.
Pub meal.
Drinks in the house whilst chilling with housemates and friends.
An episode of EastEnders.
And this morning - a movie in bed.

Couldn't be a better way to start they summer :) And here's to this blog filled with many little adventures and wanderings :).

MamcanItellyousomethingIhaveaboyfriend

Thursday 24th May 2012 at c.4pm I did something extraordinary.

I finally told my parents that I have a boyfriend.

I started this blog in the hopes that it would follow me from graduation to settling down in life and my biggest hurdle was going to be my parents.  And finally I've cleared the jump!

All of this week has been a scorcher, beautiful clear blue skies and hot weather to boot and so I spent my rare two days off basking in the sunshine and getting far too many burns from the sun's rays.  But I was also battling a burning problem of my own.  I'd told my parents I wouldn't be coming home on Friday but stopping through Durham, and I thought this time, this time I will tell them exactly where I'm stopping.  But the conversation was sidetracked and I was given permission to stay out (yeah, I know...permission...*rolls eyes*) without too much details of what I was doing that night.  So I started thinking - I have to tell them, I have to be fair, and I want to tell them so I can start leading the free life I want without having to cover my back in case they plain out reject me.  This was coupled with the persuasion of travelling down to the South for some weeks (which I really wanted to do but couldn't without running it by my parents who would have been rather suspicious...) as well as a number of adults I'd confided in who thought it was imperative I told them.  I mean how bad could it be?

So on Wednesday, every time I'd managed to corner my mother, make her in a good mood, and had a view to tell her, I started hyperventilating.  I couldn't get the words out, my breathing picked up, and I felt like I was going to pass out.  So with the aid of sunglasses I managed to cover up my anxiety and it went unnoticed.  However, by Thursday my internal dialogue was shouting at me to do something.  And so what if they kicked me out?  So what if they forbid me to see him.  I could live with a mate who has a spare room.  So with this I set out to tell them.

The church clock struck 4pm.  The sun beat down.  My dad was nowhere to be seen.  We were sitting in the middle of our back garden, there was nothing that possibly could go wrong.  So I spoke...but what came out was me asking about the book she was reading.  And thus 10mins ensued of me not really listening to what she was babbling about but privately chiding myself.  So as she grew quiet again I watched her under the cover of my dark shades, and willed myself to just say it.  And so my mouth went into overdrive, forming the words but yet no sound.  How was I going to do this?!

Within a few minutes I'd come to an agreement - when I have bad news to tell I distance myself from it and make myself feel like I'm in some outta body experience.  I'm not the one that cares about the situation, I'm merely a passer by that observes the situation completely by chance.  So I tuned out and engaged my voice.  And so it came out.

MamcanItellyousomethingIhaveaboyfriend.

One long garbled sentence. 

But my mam rose from her dreamy stupor and said 'Good for you, is it someone I know?'.  And I was struck.  I expected total silence before a 'Think you need to see your father' as has happened before in this type of scenario.  So I whispered 'No.

Mother: Where does he live?

Me: Durham

Mother: A student?

Me: Yes

Mother: Well with any luck he'll be graduating soon.

Me: Next year, four year course. Maths.

Mother: Maths?! You'll have nothing in common.  Surely he'll be going back home, he doesn't live here.

Me: Essex. But he might do a PhD

Mother: You can't marry another (not sure what she meant by another :S) Essex man.  *Brief silence* Does he have an abacus in his attic?

Me: No.

Mother: *Silence*

And that was it.  15 minutes of silence and my mother gets back up.  She babbles that she'll have to put the tea on, despite my brother not returning for another 45mins, and asks me what I want in a repetitive nature 'Do you want them potato things? I'll put the potato things on'.  And this is when I thought she'd lost it.  She followed this with 'will have to do them seeds later on and will need to clean the house up.  Yes, ought to clean the house.  Where's your dad?  I'm going to go find him'.  And leaving me bewildered, she gets up and goes in.  And I'm left sat there thinking 'OMG' as my soul slides back into my body and the realisation of what I'd done hit like running into a brick wall.

When I finally got my wits together, I re-entered the house to find them talking on the couches - highly unusual for this time of day so I creep upstairs.  Twenty minutes later I'm called down to get my fruit.  When my mam stops me on the stairs and goes 'You not going to tell your dad the news?'  I died a little.  Right there with my right foot hovering mid-step holding the bowl of fruit.  And I shake my head.  And she goes, 'Dad get in the same room as her'.  So buoyed on by my boyfriend's comments moments beforehand I have the phrase 'I've done nothing wrong, let them hit me with the backlash' in my mind and I open my mouth, face my dad, move closer to him and say in a really defiant voice bordering on anger 'I HAVE A BOYFRIEND' and he goes, with rehearsed practice 'Well done son'.  And my mam says 'He's from Essex' and he goes 'that's where all our family come from'.  So I add 'and does maths' knowing this to be a thing he'd admire considering my lacking in that department.  And my dad goes 'And a geek! Well done son' and he walks away.

Nothing else is said on the matter.  And what's more they let me stay around the said boyfriend with not another word about the matter.

And I'm left thinking - there must be more to it.  There always is with them.  They seem to be letting me be independent and lack of suffocating unlike usual but still there is some kind of odd resistance in their behaviour.  I may be paranoid but I wonder if they'll eventually say something negative eventually and are biding their time.  I mean are they really going to let the daughter they've kept trapped have free will over having a relationship with a guy that might not even live in Durham in a couple of years...?

But all in all I finally told the truth.  As people say - 'I'm finally out of the closet' and maybe now I can start living a real life...?

The Unconventional News - 24/05/2012

England's not the only one with stupid rules I see as China pushes for an unusual standard for their toilets...http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-18170693

Find out where you compare on working hours.  Guess I ought to put more hours in!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18144320

Give him another 20 years and he'll be on Chinese Top Gear!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-18184326

This would possibly scare the s**t out of me!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18173694

Egos as big as their hair: Jedward at Eurovision.  Think the presenter is actually speechless.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18188157

Minecraft Project #1: Home Town

I've decided to dedicate my life at present, not to learning a new language or discover my forte but to spend it in front of a computer screen.

It's true.  I have sunk from geek to impossible geek who would rather spend time in a world of blocks than have a social life it appears.

And the product of this?  I've had the epiphany to build my town block for block.  And all from scratch and in the middle of the ocean.  Starting with an area of town that has recently been abolished for residential housing.  But this is the start of my project:-

"It's a lengthy semi tonight"

...were the words of Scott Mills at last nights first Eurovision semis.  But boy it didn't feel long.  It was hilarious!  It proved that despite the whole voting process being turned sour by political divisions and alliances, it's still a bloody good laugh.

From the moment the first entry appeared on screen you knew you were in for a good night.  Montenegro's singer was a man who had a wild air to him as he began rapping.  Was it clear what he was rapping about? No.  But the banners with broken sentences on them seemed to point towards the topic on everyone's lips in the Euro zone - money.  But these banners in different languages were than used to wrap up a man, that came on stage, into a mummified-esque appearance and was carted off in the arms of two suited men akin to the Men in Black.  Bizarre barely crossed it.

This swiftly followed by Latvia who seemed to be fronted by the Loose Women cast.  A set of middle aged women hopefuls singing their hearts out for their nation.

And they weren't the only women at it as a set of seemingly retired older women from Russia took to the stage to represent their nation dressed in a Russian doll cum milk maid costume.

Finally, Greece delivered a pleasant performance that was unfortunately plagued with comments and jokes about their country's problems.

Altogether it was a wonderful night full of pregnant pauses from the Azerbaijan presenters and a tad inept presenting from the usual Radio 1 Presenters Sara Cox and Scott Mills.  But this is what makes it Eurovision, and I cannot personally wait for the final on Saturday!

Here's a taster of the songs from last nights Eurovision semi final.

All videos are embedded from Youtube.

The Unconventional News - 21/05/2012

Some people know how to live up to the British stereotype:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-18141421

Facebook is not as popular as it seems:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-18141990

Sometimes people have far too much time on their hands creating an encyclopedia of locked room murders, however, it is rather interesting...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18108498

Proof that Eurovision is nothing but a political game of chess.  Should we supporting a country that doesn't allow freedom of speech in such a trivial thing as a song contest?:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18137850

It's a sad day for British pop music as we lose another treasure:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18147249

Love this advert!

This Be the Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad. 

They may not mean to, but they do. 

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055

A very cynical view you may think, penned by a man plagued with pessimism about the world. But just sit and contemplate it for a moment.

Reading back over my blog the last few days I can't help but sigh and think I'm a moody, grumpy and bitter person for such a young life. I'm so young and have so many things to explore, to experience, to live, to feel and all I can do is moan.

I look at other people laughing and smiling in the street and wish I was that person that I was not so many moons ago. The girl who cracked up with laughter and every little thing, that would smile in the street at some secret musings. But now I'm some cold shell that seems all shriveled up and black inside. That I look at the world and think things bad foremost, that doesn't trust no longer, or think of the brighter side of life. I have in essence aged 50 years in the two that I have evolved into this monster.

And I wonder how this came to pass. And all I have in my head is those words 'They f**k you up, your mum and dad' and I just can't get rid of them. I'm the young girl who was repressed from friendship, from enjoying sleep overs, parties, and going out. I'm the teenager that wasn't brought up to be who I wanted to be, instead I sat and read and educated myself following the path that my parents had carved out in their mind. I went to the University they wanted, I stayed in the same region they wanted, I didn't go out and do reckless stuff like they wanted, I didn't have the friends that they didn't want me to have. And now as a adult, I'm trying to get on to the career that they wanted, I'm staying where they want me, I'm doing as they say and I'm not having the life that they didn't want me to have.

And I hate it.

I end up leading a double life, of lies and betrayal. I'm not what they created me to be, but am what they tried to repress from me. The only difference being that I don't tell them.

And now I'm sat hating them, hating them for turning me into something devious, for keeping me trapped in a dead end town in a dead end place with dead end people. But I'm their perfect daughter. Well, when they remember I'm their daughter. I'm their porcelain doll, their china doll with rosy cheeks that has the same look preserved on it's face. I'm their Peter Pan. I do not grow old, I'm forever young and forever wrapped in bubble wrap.

And that line keeps going through my head 'They f**k you up your mum and dad'. And I think of their mam and dad in return, and those before and I think this is it, this is my past, present and future. And it's the generations that have passed and those that will be. Time is moving and equally standing still.

I really do hate it.

Someone has to get me out of this soon somehow...



Edit: Interesting article on this http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18367053

Oh Summer do hurry up!

Whilst I'm not taking exams for the first time in something like 6 years(!) and I can enjoy the start of Summer it's just not the same when all your friends are busy studying like crazy.

Instead I'm sat silently reading and tip-toeing quieter than a church mouse around the room.  It also doesn't help that I'm invigilating the exams which means I get to sit and soak up the nervous and tense atmosphere.  This isn't a good thing as I can be such a mood chameleon that I tend to pick up on the slightest vibe and amplify it until it's resonating in my own aura (no idea where that sentence came from).

However, being on the other side of the exam is a completely different perspective.  Viewing the students is like watching them through a TV Box.  You know they must be tense and jittery, and having intense inner dialogues with themselves about what the right answer is, which question to choose and what to write down on the paper.  But externally they don't show it.  There is just a sea of students with their heads down writing.  It's almost like a production line in a factory.  It's only after they're released that it's as if the human inside them erupts once more as they laugh, chatter, groan or whimper about what they'd actually spent the last however long doing.

It's due to the understanding of what they're going through though that I opt not to pick up a book or to doodle, but to just sit there and think but it's only by doing this that I realise I don't think much at all.  In fact when I do set about thinking, my attention span is so limited I relapse into nothingness.  It's no wonder I can't remember doing my exams as I bet that's exactly what I did then - extract answers from my subconscious and translate them onto paper without even thinking!

It's kinda scary when you think about it.

It seems to have been like that for many years, I always get asked what am I thinking because I look in deep thought, but I'm actually shocked when someone points that out because nearly always I just have a vacuum in my head.  Even as I write this, there is nothing going on...  Which is probably why it lacks coherence.

So anyway back to the point in hand, the below music video is one that I always listen to and feel the buds awakening and the leaves stretching out, the tarmac rebelling in the heat and the lazy days stretch into weeks of doing very little as Summer comes.

Here's to everyone being free soon!

Today, I

Just got wrong for shaving my legs in the shower...

Reason 101 for wanting to move out - my parents obviously don't know how to bring up a daughter ¬_¬

Let me win the lottery please!!!

Another reason to love the Royals...

The Most Talented Person In Britain...

Is a dog...

Yes, Ashley and Pudsey ended up winning Britain's Got Talent.  And it's fair game to them.  The dog was nothing short of perfection.  Not a paw wrong.  And even in the final performance where they do the act again, he managed to keep on going though he noticed the equipment wasn't set up correctly.

But what a final it was tonight.  I have never seen a final that was so hard to call.  Each act was stunning (with the exception of one or two).  But the stars of the night had to be Loveable Rogues (Eurovision next year please with their song!!), Molly Rainford (11 year old church singer) and of course Jonathan and Charlotte. The unlikely twosome with voices of realllly powerful angels.

Watching it with my parents they found it hard to believe that a boy aged 17 could produce such a noise to make them get the chills.  And the two are phenomenal.  There is no discrediting their talent.

I think there are winners all around though as I'm sure they will all eventually get signed.  And it's show like that that leaves you with a warm fuzzy feeling inside, because we do have talent to actually be proud of.

Due to permission restrictions for posting them on other websites, please see the original performances on YouTube.

Derren Brown: Svengali

Having pestered my mam many moons ago to see Derren Brown, it had seemed a long time coming before we were actually in the car, driving through the horrendous pour down to see him.  I still, as with many other occasions, couldn't believe the day had come.  But come it did, and having necked a couple of energy drinks I was pretty sure I would be on top of any cons or tricks that the infamous mind-tricker was going to throw at his audience.

However, to prevent ruining the experience for others I will not delve into what happened during the performance.  It is better at any rate that you experience it for yourself.  But I will say one thing.  Derren is plagued with criticisms that he uses stooges in his tricks, I can vouch, as can anyone else who is in the audience that the likelihood of this is neigh on impossible.  In fact, I believe that to use stooges would be a diminishing act to himself; he would find it a blemish of his own intelligence to stoop that low.  It is perhaps only when you attend his live shows does this actually become apparent.

The performance was fantastic though.  He is ever the perfect showman with an astonishing grasp of psychological intuition.  You would fail to be amazed at his show no matter how much experience you've had of his stuff before hand.

I can also say he's a fantastic man.  Incredibly nice.

We were just leaving the theatre to walk down an alleyway to be picked up when we came across a crowd of people.  I immediately thought they were waiting for a taxi and looked on the road for the familiar white painted lines that indicates so.  But there were none, just parked cars.  And suddenly it dawned - this is where he would be leaving!  Having followed him for 12 years and watched everything he's produced I naturally would have jumped at a chance to meet him.  And so me and my mother joined the crowd and waited in the pouring rain.  It wasn't so much pouring as the type that sort of sneaks up and soaks you without you realising.  The only annoyance was the constant dripping from the buildings on to my coat.  I hid my programme under my jacket and my mother covered my camera in hers as we stood waiting.

His PR alerted us that he'd have to make it quick on the account that it was wet and that we shouldn't want to stay out much longer.  However, after some more waiting she poked her head out of the fire doors again to tell us that he would like us to come in in small groups to be sheltered from the rain.  I couldn't believe this.  Such a nice man.  And so my mind kept whirling.  I had to think of something intelligent to say.  Something that would resonate with him that I understood his work and that I was an admirer.  I also wanted to come up with some form of witty statement or something that would be good for any future performances.  And so I sifted through the cobwebbed dark areas of my mind where some psychological content was still stored from that rather expensice degree I got in the subject.  Yet I couldn't think of anything.  And so when I got there.  And I was stood in front of him I didn't know what to possibly say.

All I could think of was a) he looked older than I thought he would, b) he's such a normal guy you wouldn't know him if you walked passed him on the street and c) my name!  The group in front of me joked that he looked like their drama teacher and could they get a photo.  And then it was my turn.  And all I could say was my name.

I even said it over him asking what it was!  How ignorant am I! Then I said it again to make sure he heard and didn't get it mixed up with the person before who had a similar name to me, then I said it again in a whispered voice thinking 'OMG STOP SAYING YOUR NAME!!!!!'

He ended up having a photo with me, then I left without another word, and wanted to get out ASAP instead of goggling at him like crazy.

I can honestly say I'd never been truly embarrassed as I was that day.  He obviously will never remember this moment, but I hope that he will understand my sheer admiration for him, lead me to be a...total goofball :(

However, at least I met him I suppose...though a part of me thinks that maybe my dignity would have preferred it if in future I take the long route away from the Stage Door....

Working on a Bank Holiday...

Working all day in a building that is close to a hundred years old does not do great things for my imagination.

Having locked up a few minutes late thanks to some people desperate to read every last thing of the displays, I went around doing the usual - flipping the lights and knocking off the computers.  It was while I was cashing up that something caught my eye on the security system.  In one of the rooms there was a shimmering light, constantly moving.  Earlier I'd already caught something in the corner of the little shop as I saw rolls of map slide across the floor.  Wondering if someone was hiding there I'd gone to explore to find nothing.  So when I saw this light I kept and eye on it for a few minutes thinking it was my imagination.  But no it kept shimmering.

So I cashed up, put it safely in the safe before returning downstairs and entering the room next to it.  When I'm in there I hear the unmistakable sound of furniture scraping against wood.  As if someone has pushed a wooden chair across the floor.  I froze.  Took a couple of minutes to get a grip on myself then walked around into the darkened room.  It was still, quiet and everything in place but the light was on.  I'd definitely turned it off when I'd turned off the projector.  At any rate it wasn't moving like it had been on the camera.

I swear that that place is haunted!  Especially considering listening to the video all day seems to have burnt an auditory pattern on my brain and it's literally all I can hear on loop...

In other news, the City was celebrating the Battle of Neville's Cross.  I was made aware of this when a horse dressed in a elaborate blanket trotted passed with a knight in full chain mail armor on it's back.  The weird thing was that his leader on foot came in in all of his dress asking for someone that I've never heard of and all I could do was look at him in a bemused sense.  However, during my lunch hour I went and took pictures whilst listening to the amusing characters talk about bow and arrows and watch them start a mini attack on one another.

The Unconventional News - 06.05.2012

Just had to share this item here:-

Despite the seriousness of it if there hadn't been a sheet of reinforced glass in the way, I found it oddly funny!

Working on Sunday...

...is perhaps the longest day in existence.

From the very start there was problem after problem lending itself to being a stressful and busy day.  However, on the other hand, there were long periods of propping up my kindle against my computer screen to pretend I was actually doing something useful, it was that quiet...

But at least today I spent my lunch basking in the afternoon sunshine - the first rays I've seen since the end of March (see above).  This followed a quick trip down to a well known supermarket brand only to witness a student being turned down because their driving licence had expired a week ago...Call me lenient, but seriously?  You're going to turn down business because of a date on a bit of card that clearly shows face and date of birth?  You absolute idiots!

But then I get so angry at things like that.  Life has become too PC for my liking.

The rest of the afternoon was quiet enough for me to get around to reassembling the two arches that had been knocked over by someone thinking it was easy enough to rebuild - they were wrong.  And it was with much trepidation that I had to piece them all together.  It took me 20minutes.  Twenty whole minutes to slot about 12 pieces together in their two separate forms.  Grrr.

Let me explain about why these arches are so important.  The one on the right is the archway we're perhaps more traditionally used to.  It's seen all around the world in bridges and tunnels and massive buildings.  It has its significant keystone in the middle, the piece that without it it would fall apart.  Yet notice the left model without it's key piece and with a pointed centre.  This one on the left was used suddenly in Durham Cathedral.  It was found that you could put more weight on the left one and it would withstand the pressure without crumbling.  Whereas you put weight on the right one and it crumbles.

It is this crumbling that I hear almost once every hour as someone knocks it down.  

So this is a note to any budding engineers reading this - use the left one - it's far less irritating.

Finally on some good news front.

The little lost boy that was swept away in river near me was found today.  Aged 8 and swept away down the river whilst it was flooded.  After a week and two days of endless searching by the never giving up hope volunteers from the community who were touched by the story, the little boy's body was found today.  The most potent thing from this was definitely the community spirit.  No matter what people say, it's still there.  We're united as one in times of moving events.  But let the boy rest in peace now.

Today, I

I found this article in the Northern Echo today (3.5.2012).  I just had to share it...

Presumably this will mean all those born in 2000 onwards are allowed...

Would like to see that in another 10 years...