Newly Single

Since I've been single for just under two months now I thought I need a bit of happiness in my life (since that's the reason the relationship ended in the first place this is perhaps a great place to start).  So I thought I'd write about the stupidity of being single on this blog for my own amusement in the hope that other people will also read this and empathise with me.  I mean I can't be the only person out there who is ready to pull their hair out at the same sex, opposite sex, love, sex and all the uselessness that surrounds it all.

All names will for obvious reasons be removed from this.

So how did it end?

The last relationship died because of me.  The apoplectic mess that was the latter half of my summer caused me to be permanently in a state of depression, resentment, and unfeeling.  I was shriveled up inside, begging for laughter, begging for the good times.  Instead I ensnared in a bottomless pit of anxiety and darkness.  And so I made the dreadful decision to ask for a break from the relationship.  Yes, like the song 'We are never getting back together' I asked for space after we'd already spent weeks apart.  I may sound ungrateful, I may sound like the biggest bitch in the whole wide universe.  But I needed to cut ties with people for a while.  I needed to find my giggly self who never saw sense in the world.  Who never took anything seriously and who never raised her voice to anyone.

And because of the monster I'd become, I was dumped on the platform in Essex watching him walk away and never looking back and leaving me to find my way back to London King's Cross with tears brimming in my eyes and totally unable to handle my bags all of a sudden.  I got my suitcase trapped in the bloody ticket barrier - it screamed at me constantly.  A man had to come help by placing his muddy dusty foot on my black new suitcase to kick it out of the system.  I stood on the platform of the tube and watched them drive by one after the other wondering which one would take me to the station.  In the end I hopped on board and hoped for the best.

That was to be the beginning of my single life.