Monday, July 1, 2013

The very mysterious incident of the bin bag in the night

So I have finally finished my (second) degree.  Done, dusted, vamoosed!  In fact over the last few weeks some big changes have happened.

I have gone from not having a car to having a car (and consequently crashing said car into a curb at 40mph having been staring at the gears when trying to put it into reverse...numpty) and thus dented the wheel, followed by having to get an urgent kick start to my car when the battery completely failed to started at all.  I mean I know I'm lazy, but not to turn on when asked, that's just pure laziness...

In that last few weeks I have also finished the last few legs of my course.  To be honest with you I'm still shattered over it.  It's like some never ending blanket of tiredness that just can't be eradicated, no matter now much I sleep or lie around.

However, the greatest thing was that I now have a job.

Yes I hated the course.
I hated the teaching.
I certainly hated the planning.
And I don't really like the children.

But I have a job as a teacher.

What is more shame faced is the bold lie I told in front of 215 something kids when I was asked 'did I always want to be a teacher?'.  While my brain screamed NO! YOU STILL DON'T! My face did this oddly thing and creased into a smile, and my mouth opened, my tongue  moving and the words came out 'Yes, I always did'...Oooh the lies!

But yush I now have a job.  I have a job that is going to lead to another yeah of paramount exhaustion, of no life, and possibly kids with snot dripping from their nostrils..

When I was there for interview there was nothing quite like feeling 'well these aren't my kids'.  Because I have got sooo accustomed to those I'm currently teaching, that I do actually (and unbelievably) miss them.  I just won't miss the work load...

So yes that's my life for the last few weeks, and that holiday to Majorca which I never did get the chance to come back to, is ever approaching :)

But about the mysterious bin bag I hear you calling?  Having scanned the text and heard no word of it so far..

Well yes, as I was driving home, I swerved to miss, not only my dad's car, but a black cat.  Or so I thought.  Getting up close with the lights on I noticed it wasn't a black cat but a black bin bag.  A black bin bag that suddenly attracted the attention of an enormous fat white cat with brown patches on it's ear.  It was staring at the said bag as much as I did.  A black bin bag, the size of a standard carrier bag, tied up with a yellow elastic band, seemingly dumped in the middle of the road.  This bag must have carried some weight, because in the heavy wind it didn't so much as wave.  And the white cat got off it's bottom and headed over to it, staring and scratching at it, thinking it's going to attack.

Having had a history of interest in serial killers and murderers, what do you think I thought it was?  A severed head.  Abandoned in front of my dad's car in the middle of the night and in the middle of the road.  

However, the next morning I found that it had been pulled to the path and shredded,..it's contents unable to be diagnosed.  So whether there is someone out there missing a head or a few fingers... I'm sorry, the cat got it...  On the other hand, I'm hoping that this was nothing but my vivid imagination and that was just someone's fish and chip papers...