Funny Stories

Visiting the boyfriends.  Walking up the stairs.  Him ahead of me.  He gets in the bedroom, he strips off and lies down on the bed in a pose akin to that of the David Beckham Calvin Klein's advert.
I take off my coat, sit on the bed.
His mam knocks on the door.  Enters.

*****

This morning, waking up at my best friends.
Boyfriend heads down the stairs, there's conversation and I overhear 'YOU'RE A BURGLAR!'
I get dressed come to the stairs to see a retired bald head carpenter, pint in hand and tool in the other looking at the carpet.  He turns and looks at me and goes 'ANOTHER BURGLAR'
"Errr...where's our friend?"
"Don't know, do you want a pint of Fosters?"
*Looks at watch - 10.30am*. "Erm...nope"....
*Spend the next 2 hours watching this man drink and smoke whilst cutting up wood...just waiting for someone to come home....*