The Sound of Laughter

Last night I was struck by this funny noise.  A noise that seemingly didn't come from me, but yet I couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

It took me a couple of minutes to realise that in actual fact that noise was laughing.  And it was laughter coming from me.  I was rocked with the realisation that I'd not heard myself laugh in months.  Genuine, unorchestrated laughter.  And this saddened me.  I remember the days where I never stopped laughing.  From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep there was always something amusing.  Something I could laugh at as I was walking along the street by myself.  Something which always meant I had a smile plastered across my face.  And something my mother used to be able to be proud of when other mother's said 'Your kid is always happy, always has a smile on her face, wish mine could be as happy'.

It's so sad to think that now my own laughter is unrecognisable.

I miss it!  I miss the endorphins.  And I can't understand what happened to make the laughter run off, or so to speak.  Has it disappeared with growing up?  Has the years of studying; stress; trying to find work; having so many decisions on my plate; actually affected my sense of humour?  Have I finally become serious?

I genuinely don't know.

And so this is my project - to start laughing again.  To turn the forced laughs into genuine laughs.  To feel the giddiness and naivete of my youth return - life's just too short for seriousness.