Taking a break from finding my forte (plan to try drawing next!) I thought I'd write about a topic which is going to be on everyone's mind in the next couple of weeks - romance.
I sat down earlier today to speculate about what I ought to get my boyfriend for Valentine's Day. Let's face it it's a massive commercialised holiday which gets you out buying teddy bears, chocolates and flowers. And if you don't stick to the romantic idea you get frowned upon or tutted at from others. But I can tell you now, I don't care, honestly don't. If someone handed me a bouquet of roses I'd ask them why they'd wasted so much money on something which is about as perishable as milk. Fair enough on the chocolate front because anyone would appreciate some delicious chocolate, but the teddy front? Everyone loves teddies, of course they do, they're so cute! But who wants a teddy that carries an artificial message that some company or organisation decided would be a romantic gesture. It's a bit of a cop out really.
So what's the deal with romance these days? To be romantic do we really have to align ourselves with how the society demands because that's not romantic that's conformity. And the same pattern is seemingly splashed everywhere. One friend of mine who recently got into a relationship seemed to classify that their boyfriend wanted to change his status to 'In a relationship with..' on a certain social networking site as 'really sweet'. Of course that's what they want - it makes it official. But I hate this. Truly do. A hundred years ago there were a number of words used for relationship status - courting, dating, sweethearts, stepping out, going steady. Today we only see as official if it's branded across some website. And there's no happy medium either. You're either single or in a relationship (aside from the odd ball other statuses). Now that's fine for some, but you forget that relationships more often than not tend to end these days. So you find you have a trail of 'In a relationship' 'Single' 'In a relationship' etc etc alternating statuses if someone should care to browse the page. This to me is unattractive. I don't want to know that someone can't hold a relationship down for more than 6 months (yes, that's right, you can even deduce the time frame of one's relationship) and that they're in a completely new relationship a month later with a different partner. Or they've not been able to get a relationship since they were 15. Not to mention is it not publicly mortifying to follow a break up with a stream of people declaring that they 'like' this, making comforting remarks and posting nosey comments about 'what happened' and 'are you alright?'. Of course they're going to be alright because when it's slapped out in the public domain you have to be alright.
Some might argue that it shows ownership and commitment. But do I really need a social networking site to declare this for me? I have been in a happy relationship for over a year and a half, and this has never been publicised and advertised on my 'wall'. I don't need a status to tell me what my love life is like, nor do I need the painful incentive to carry on in a messy relationship because it's 'too embarrassing to end it on Facebook'. No, should my relationship come to an end, not every Joe Bloggs who I have met over my lifetime need know about it, nor do they need to worry their pretty little heads/laugh their behinds off knowing that I'm single and can't hold down a man/receive the sympathy votes that I'm getting old and haven't got anyone to settle down with. I'd rather have a nice and normal 'offline' relationship and the people I actually know and care about know that I'm in a relationship from me and not because I'm desperate to air this to everyone.
But alongside all this social networking show-boating as it were, technology seems to kill romance. Before the internet and technological communications devices romance had a completely different perspective. Looking back at the World Wars for instance, those men wrote letters - romantic and meaningful letters that the wife could treasure and re-read. These days we send texts of around 160characters often with incorrectly spelled and poorly constructed sentences. On the upside we can send several an hour, full of minimalistic information about what we're doing and what we intend to do. This is a good way to keep in touch, show an interest in their life, and helps when you've not seen them for long periods of time. But then we enter the game that sending a text has to have the appropriate number of kisses - none for business, one for acquaintance/friend, two for more than friends/opposite sex, three for lovers. Why would I want to spend my time playing the tedious game of pressing 3 x's, having to wait a second between each press otherwise it will be some foreign character- and that's not acceptable because that's not stating the tone and the destination of the text.
I just don't get it.
In some ways technology has improved things, but somehow it's just made it more...tasteless.
If you couldn't get a date in the olden days you'd get set up, or just concentrate on work or something. But today you can't go anywhere without the 'two for one' deals or the shame of being alone on Valentine's day. Being lonely is just an excuse for everyone to take pity on you. And so people turn to online dating. Online dating?!?! Because that's a fantastic way to meet other losers that have lost in the game of love too. On the other hand, feeling lonely? Stick on some free porn - another fantastically terrible franchise. I mean, where is the dignity and romance these days?!
I really do not get it.
But as it is, I'm in a normal relationship. And as for Valentine's day, I'd rather spend money on something he'll appreciate and nothing generic while I yearn for some good old fashioned romance.
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