Forte #3: Flying a Kite

Attempts for my forte have dried up as of recent (been quite exhausted to try anything new!).

However, today my boyfriend suggested finding my forte by playing Minecraft.

Now I'm not too sure what this involves but I'm assuming it means being creative, designing and trying to be innovative with what god has given me - well what the game has....

So I'm going to give that a go and see how it goes but for now my forte #3 though was flying a kite.

I failed so bad.

It was in the air for half a minute before it crashed.  To be honest I was scared at the sheer force that the wind had over it and was just trying my hardest not to let it go...

Needless to say my boyfriend managed to cope with this superbly....

What a show off.
At least I wasn't that shabby at launching it for him...does that count? *hopeful*


Forte Progress thus far:-
Karaoke
Drawing
Kite flying
Minecraft?

Any other suggestions please let me know!

To Lent or Not to Lent?

That is the question on everyone's sorta-non-Christian-but-likes-to-believe-in-the public-events-like-Christmas-and-Easter minds.  To give up something or to keep on indulging...It's a reallly hard decision.

See the first thing I always think of giving up is alcohol.  Having no real other vices with the exception of reading and internet browsing (both can't really be classed as negative) my only other vice is alcohol.  So do I give it up?

Alcohol (at least in Britain) seems to be a sort of coming-of-age experience that most teens explore in their early - mid teens despite the age limit being 18.  You'll find pint sized 'adults' guzzling down 3 litres of 'Frosty Jacks' on the street corner (or morbidly in a graveyard) or some equally terrible cider, they may even splash out on a small bottle of knock off terrible vodka that gives them the s**ts the next day.

Then you reach post-16 and realise that the opposite sex isn't mean and just there for hand-holding and you want to jump on that band wagon (quite literally).  So you end up turning to alcohol - the great inhibition loser which will get you talking to any man, woman and stranger that comes into your eye range.  And before long you've miraculously pulled an amazing tall dark and handsome man only for you to take a look at Facebook the next day and you've got a pending request from a 45 year old married with kids graying old man...it happens to us all.

Then come the 20s - the great age of reflection and contemplation, and just general thinking of 'who am I?!'.  And you start using alcohol as a relaxant.  Looking forward to Friday's for an excuse to unwind with an afternoon pub session after a troublesome week of work (or searching for work) and an equally valid excuse then to hit the takeaway despite having ate dinner already.  And, if you're me, you may decide to drink a cheeky can during the afternoon while trying to relive your student ages (while hanging with students - this is incredibly sad I admit).

You've realised then for the last 10 or so years you've actually been drinking alcohol despite the reasons maturing from 'looking cool and grown up' (it by no means is) to relaxing and having a good time.  And then you realise that what I've described there are just endless excuses to hit the bottle - not good.

So when it comes to this time of the year it's obvious why you'd immediately think 'give up the drink' especially when you remember that the glamorous unwinding leads to a massive and not so fetching hangover the following day.  But then you think can I?  If I can't give up the tipple for a month and a bit does this mean I'm addicted O_o...and you enter this whole loop of thinking maybe Lent is just the way you find out what you can't give up.

On the other hand, why should you give it up for a month and a bit.  It might have some benefits such as saving money, losing weight, but why put yourself through the effort of it?  You need to be highly motivated and dedicated to doing it and we all know how that works out with New Years Resolutions so what makes Lent any different unless you are of course bound to it by religion?  In fact, if you're seriously considering giving it up for a month why shouldn't you then give it up for the rest of your life?

Lent becomes trying to give up an addiction.  And that's not so Christian.

So maybe we shouldn't think about what we should give up, whether it's good or bad for you, and maybe decide to DO something instead.

Why don't we donate a couple of pounds to charity, do a good deed for the day, volunteer and start exercising?  That way we're not casting a glum look on things and say 'yes, I obviously have a problem with [Enter vice here] so I'm going to give that up' trying to give up and then failing, but actually doing something positive and worthwhile by doing something that makes us feel good (and not just for ourselves either).

Think about it.
Though I might attempt to give up alcohol just to see if I can...(yes this takes me back to the giving up and addiction question...)

Living for the Weekend

Most people utter 'TGIF' as they wake up on a Friday morning.  It's the last time for 2 days that you will have to get up and do a clothes scramble in the dark or face traffic queues or just face actually having to do some work. It's fantastic.  After slogging hard for 5 days with only a couple of hours to call your own on a night, you're about to have two lovely stress-free days off.

But is that really true?

I tend to live for a Friday - have a drink or two, have a takeaway, enjoy some TV and laughter with your friends.  But it's just dawned on me how little I use my time.  For instance, drinking inevitably leads to a hangover.  And so Saturday is spent being a recluse in bed, with the TV on and nursing a headache.  So what do I have to show for a Saturday? Nothing.  Having spent all Friday night's sleep in a drunken haze which, to me, means not a good nights sleep, I go to bed early on a Saturday and wake up midday on Sunday.  Now Sunday's are always fantastic TV days again.  Wake up to The OC, wack on some T4 before whiling the afternoon away by dunking into a good book, hot chocolate by the side and waiting for the Sunday night TV to start which almost always means a good film premiering on some network channel.  But looking at that I've literally spent my entire Sunday lying in bed again.  The only blissful thing is that my hangover's gone but I'm now drunken with too much sleep and feel restless and tired at the same time and unable to put my head down come night time.

So my weekend consists of doing nothing.  Which is how everyone likes it right?  Wrong.  I could do with a hobby, something to keep me distracted and actually having something to show for it.  My main motivation for working so much is that working means you're actually doing something and when you're actually doing something you have money to show for it and plenty of stories to tell others about.  You don't seem boring.  However, I can't go into work on Monday and regale all the stories from my weekend as there isn't actually anything to tell.  And that's quite depressing.

Even those who are more proactive on a weekend probably find themselves doing tedious family stuff such as the weekly shop which is impossible to do in a morning these days.  Not when you need to price compare as the major supermarkets all conveniently placed next to each other wage their price war, so to buy a simple box of cereal in one shop often leaves you feeling robbed of a whole pound compared to the exact same box in the other shop.  Life's just unfair like that.  But then you'd usually get back and put your feet up to watch the television and the weekends football.  But that again, is not showing anything.  

I think it's time to come to the conclusion that we're all stuck in some kind of a rut and that we need to spice the weekends up to be able to justify uttering 'TGIF' every week.

Trouble is, how?

10 Ways to get MOTIVATED

It's now half way through the second month of the new year and I'm sure many people are feeling the lull.  I even found myself scratching my head wondering why I'm even bothering to get up these days and I'm sure many of you agree.  We've had Christmas and New Year, our resolutions have gone out of the window, we've nothing to look forward to until the lighter nights and the warmer days.  You may have just booked your holiday and are just wanting the next few months to speed up, just want a break, or wishing you were back at school so you can enjoy the half term holidays.  You've just lost your motivation.  We're all feeling it.  So to try and lighten up the day I thought I'd try a bit of motivation speaking with 10 tips to get you motivated.
(Let's face it, without motivation we can't get out of bed, get dressed, get to work, do work, even eat - we all kinda need it!)

My Top Ten Motivation Tips*

1. Put down your pens, pencils, books, computers (don't literally put down the computer though...), and put your feet up.  Yes. RELAX.  Take 10mins, grab a cuppa or indulgent hot chocolate, and enjoy yourself.  Think how good this makes you feel.
2. Put on 'Wear Sunscreen-Baz Luhrmann' with lyrics.  Yes, sit there, listen to it, feel the vibes and drink in his words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQlJ3vOp6nI
3. Open a window, sit back down, open your mouth and inhale.  Not through your nose, through your mouth.  This will take all that lovely fresh oxygen and take it directly to your brain making you feel a lot more alert than you did (just like yawning does (bet that made you yawn by mentioning all the yawning;))
4. Stand up. Reach upwards, and outwards opening up your chest and letting more oxygen in.  Touch your toes, then reach upwards and outwards.  Stretch.
5. Now put on a more motivating song.  Any song that will get you up and dancing.  Could be Rocky, could be the new Flo Rida song or a bit of the Beatles.  Something that gets you moving.  Dance like there's nobody watching.
6. Feeling rejuvenated? Good.  Now sit down and write on a poster/post-it note/noticeboard/computer screen what you're wanting to do and how long you want to do it in.  Make it manageable.  You can't build the Olympic Stadium in one sitting (can't even do it in 6years by the looks of things) so even if you're just setting yourself a target to complete one maths problem.  Do it.
7. Get to work.  Remember breathe in through the mouth and exhale through your nose.  Drink water.  Keeps you hydrated (also allows you cheeky toilet breaks every so often)
8. Reached the mini-goal? Grab a biscuit, walk down the corridor, pat yourself on the back, then create yourself a new goal.  This process is called rewarding good behaviour ;)
9. Keep going until you've done what you need to do.
10. Put on your favourite/congratulatory song (JK Rowling's song was Lily Allens - Smile when she finished the Harry Potter books, see even the famous have their rewards) and party - YOU'RE DONE!

* Just so we're all clear I'm not a trained motivation speaker nor do I profess to be.  These are 10 tips I've lovingly created for you, based on things I like to do that I know work for me.  If they don't work for you then don't blame me! If, however, you have other tips you'd like to share with me, please do so :)

Forte #2: Drawing

It's been about a week or so since I've reported to you on how my finding my 'forte' is going.  And it's going pretty abysmally!

The newest thing I decided to embark upon was drawing.  Sounds easy but really isn't.  I haven't picked up a pencil (and I mean literally picked up a pencil) since the days of Art at GCSE.  So on the morning of the 7th February I marched down town and got myself a sketchbook and new set of sketching pencils (I felt that I might as well start a-fresh).

Here's the result:-

My First Drawing: Coffee Table

Second Drawing: Attempt to draw my favourite childhood toy from recollection. (Actually not too bad in my opinion apart from the rubbish foot...)

Third drawing: Vase

The Boy's Living Room

Conclusion - need a lot more work? And certainly not going to get Picasso spinning in his grave for any good reason any time soon...
However, despite this I have found a new hobby - really interested in trying to develop this now I've bought the tools.  So maybe you'll be seeing more (and steadily less) disastrous results in the future :)

Is Romance Dead?

Taking a break from finding my forte (plan to try drawing next!) I thought I'd write about a topic which is going to be on everyone's mind in the next couple of weeks - romance.

I sat down earlier today to speculate about what I ought to get my boyfriend for Valentine's Day.  Let's face it it's a massive commercialised holiday which gets you out buying teddy bears, chocolates and flowers.  And if you don't stick to the romantic idea you get frowned upon or tutted at from others.  But I can tell you now, I don't care, honestly don't.  If someone handed me a bouquet of roses I'd ask them why they'd wasted so much money on something which is about as perishable as milk.  Fair enough on the chocolate front because anyone would appreciate some delicious chocolate, but the teddy front? Everyone loves teddies, of course they do, they're so cute! But who wants a teddy that carries an artificial message that some company or organisation decided would be a romantic gesture.  It's a bit of a cop out really.

So what's the deal with romance these days?  To be romantic do we really have to align ourselves with how the society demands because that's not romantic that's conformity.  And the same pattern is seemingly splashed everywhere.  One friend of mine who recently got into a relationship seemed to classify that their boyfriend wanted to change his status to 'In a relationship with..' on a certain social networking site as 'really sweet'.  Of course that's what they want - it makes it official.  But I hate this.  Truly do.  A hundred years ago there were a number of words used for relationship status - courting, dating, sweethearts, stepping out, going steady.  Today we only see as official if it's branded across some website.  And there's no happy medium either.  You're either single or in a relationship (aside from the odd ball other statuses).  Now that's fine for some, but you forget that relationships more often than not tend to end these days.  So you find you have a trail of 'In a relationship' 'Single' 'In a relationship' etc etc alternating statuses if someone should care to browse the page.  This to me is unattractive.  I don't want to know that someone can't hold a relationship down for more than 6 months (yes, that's right, you can even deduce the time frame of one's relationship) and that they're in a completely new relationship a month later with a different partner.  Or they've not been able to get a relationship since they were 15.  Not to mention is it not publicly mortifying to follow a break up with a stream of people declaring that they 'like' this, making comforting remarks and posting nosey comments about 'what happened' and 'are you alright?'.  Of course they're going to be alright because when it's slapped out in the public domain you have to be alright.

Some might argue that it shows ownership and commitment.  But do I really need a social networking site to declare this for me?  I have been in a happy relationship for over a year and a half, and this has never been publicised and advertised on my 'wall'.  I don't need a status to tell me what my love life is like, nor do I need the painful incentive to carry on in a messy relationship because it's 'too embarrassing to end it on Facebook'.  No, should my relationship come to an end, not every Joe Bloggs who I have met over my lifetime need know about it, nor do they need to worry their pretty little heads/laugh their behinds off knowing that I'm single and can't hold down a man/receive the sympathy votes that I'm getting old and haven't got anyone to settle down with.  I'd rather have a nice and normal 'offline' relationship and the people I actually know and care about know that I'm in a relationship from me and not because I'm desperate to air this to everyone.

But alongside all this social networking show-boating as it were, technology seems to kill romance.  Before the internet and technological communications devices romance had a completely different perspective.  Looking back at the World Wars for instance, those men wrote letters - romantic and meaningful letters that the wife could treasure and re-read.  These days we send texts of around 160characters often with incorrectly spelled and poorly constructed sentences.  On the upside we can send several an hour, full of minimalistic information about what we're doing and what we intend to do.  This is a good way to keep in touch, show an interest in their life, and helps when you've not seen them for long periods of time.  But then we enter the game that sending a text has to have the appropriate number of kisses - none for business, one for acquaintance/friend, two for more than friends/opposite sex, three for lovers.  Why would I want to spend my time playing the tedious game of pressing 3 x's, having to wait a second between each press otherwise it will be some foreign character- and that's not acceptable because that's not stating the tone and the destination of the text.

I just don't get it.

In some ways technology has improved things, but somehow it's just made it more...tasteless.
If you couldn't get a date in the olden days you'd get set up, or just concentrate on work or something.  But today you can't go anywhere without the 'two for one' deals or the shame of being alone on Valentine's day.  Being lonely is just an excuse for everyone to take pity on you.  And so people turn to online dating.  Online dating?!?!  Because that's a fantastic way to meet other losers that have lost in the game of love too.  On the other hand, feeling lonely?  Stick on some free porn - another fantastically terrible franchise.  I mean, where is the dignity and romance these days?!

I really do not get it.

But as it is, I'm in a normal relationship.  And as for Valentine's day, I'd rather spend money on something he'll appreciate and nothing generic while I yearn for some good old fashioned romance.

Forte Trial #1: Karaoke

This morning (admittedly it was at 10.30am) I decided to try karaoke.
This didn't go down too well as everyone in the house turned up to wonder what was going on.
The karaoke thingy even said I was tone deaf.

I think we can safely say that my forte is definitely not singing...(or at least this is so early in the morning sans alcohol and using karaoke to gauge it).  Then again it has already been tried and tested on Halloween to a whole pub with alcohol.  Result: Emptied the entire bar.  Even the people who put it on gave me a t-shirt for trying my best...(secretly I'm guessing they were trying to get rid of me...).

Should Everyone Have A Forte?

When you look around you, everyone seems to have a particular strength.  You see actors that have perfect comedy delivery or ability to move an audience with just one look (a recent example being the actor playing Stephen in the BBC dramatisation of 'Birdsong').  You hear note perfect singers and exceptional songwriters.  You read moving books written by authors that have a way with words.  Even in your family you can see the mother that has a way with baking, the brother with an eye for numbers and a father with never-ending patience. But can you really tell what your own strength is?

Surely going by my first few examples it's obviously something you make money from or benefit from.  However, when I think of my jobs of working as a shelving assistant, a receptionist and a note-taking, are my strengths really as easy as an eye for detail and customer service?  And anyway these really aren't career paths of my natural choice.

So the next thing to look at is my educational background.  I have a degree in Psychology, but then I really don't have a scientific mind particularly when there is a need for statistics.  I've also been told I'm not very original (just look at my dissertation/English Language A-Level coursework).

Looking further back to school reports I was always considered strongest at English and my creative writing.  However my grades in English and English Language at A-Level beg to differ and a certain member of the Open University particularly criticised the way I wrote creatively.

In my own opinion I was always amazed by my exceptional memory, but this seems to have disintegrated over time.  I always thought my writing was pretty good but then see above.

So what am I good at?

I figured that maybe I could try and work it out and report back on here.  I think I'll try several different things from drawing/singing/playing an instrument/speaking a different language etc etc to see if I do actually have a forte...wish me luck.